


[Untitled]

by cupidmarwani



Series: Family!Verse [6]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Coming Out, Coming Out as Transgender, Ficlet, Fluff, Gen, also note in this fic- zara is using he/him pronouns, this is just an important family moment for Zara's self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 14:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19320325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidmarwani/pseuds/cupidmarwani
Summary: Zara has something to tell Nick.





	[Untitled]

**Author's Note:**

> Zara is using he/him pronouns in this fic

Three months into the school year, after Zara cut his hair and made friends with this girl, Emily, who cried in Alex’s arms the day her parents signed off on her starting hormones, after talking to other people like him, he sits down with Emily on the living room couch and looks at Nick like the world is coming down on his shoulders. It’s a look Nick never, ever wants to see on his child’s face, but here it is and it’s heartbreaking as the two of them sit there with Zara’s laptop open to all these web pages, all these articles. 

“I’ve got to, um, talk to you... about some stuff,” Zara says. His hand is holding Emily’s so tightly that both of their knuckles have gone pale, and that’s easier to look at than his face right now. The pain. The fear. “So, like, I want you to read this article first. It might help. This one, that’s queued up on the first tab. Emily helped me find it.”

Zara hands him the laptop, and he takes it gingerly in his hands to look at the page- written by a name Nick recognizes, because he grew up in and after the crisis, and he read a lot of these things in bouts of research, especially with Sonny at his side. It’s not specifically about the crisis, but about people like Sonny. It explains dysphoria in simple terms, the kind Nick saw when he first started doing actual research when he and Sonny got together because he wanted to be a good ally, wanted to do right by the love of his life. But he reads the whole thing anyways, because his child asked him to, and it can’t hurt.

When he’s done, he sets it down and looks back at Zara. “You can tell me anything, okay?”

“This is… this is weird, though.”

Emily squeezes Zara’s hand and shoots him a look that says they’ve talked about this, about the way he feels about whatever he’s going through.

Nick, in turn, leans forward in his seat slightly. “Zara, listen to me. If you’re transgender, that’s okay. I still love you, and whatever name, whatever pronouns you want to use, I promise I will. Sonny is trans too, honey. You’re not gonna be in any trouble.”

Those words seem to take all the pain, all the suffering off Zara’s shoulders, and he practically melts back into the couch. Looking so much more at ease, so much less terrified of being booted out of the house or screamed at or told he’s broken. Words Nick would never dare to say, especially to his own child.

“I’m not a teenage girl. I’m a boy.”

“Okay.” Nick nods. “What pronouns do you use? If you want to use a different name, have you put any thought into what it would be?”

Zara genuinely looks like he didn’t think he would get this far, and turns to Emily, who just smiles at him, and Nick knows that look. That loving, happy, doting look. It’s the way Nick looks at Sonny, the way Alex looks at Olivia. But maybe they’re not quite to the point of admittance, and that’s far from the important thing here, so Nick doesn’t mention it and buries the thought.

“I use he/him pronouns, and I want to, um, I want to change my name, but…”

He hesitates, and Nick steps in because he knows some about this process. “Whatever name it is, I will use it. It may take me a little bit to get used to, but I promise, I will.”

“That’s the thing. I, um, I wanted…” Zara takes a slow, deep breath. “I wanted you to choose it. Maybe you and Sonny. Since you’re my parents, and all, I thought- I just wanted it to be something you would’ve named me if I was born a boy.”

Something warm blooms in Nick’s chest at that. Zara trusts him, wants him to be a part of this because he’s his father, and there’s something good happening here, something worth holding onto and protecting. His mind is blank now for any ideas of what his son’s new name should be, and even if it wasn’t, he wants to put real, serious thought into it. 

“Give me a few days, then? So I can make the right choice?”

Zara nods, and he has the brightest smile on his face. “Yeah, of course.”

“So, I assume then, that you want Sonny to know?”

“Mhmm. I uh, I wanna tell him, and Alex and Olivia, but I thought- I thought you should know first, and help me choose a new name before we told them.”

Emily smiles brightly up at Zara, and for a moment, it looks like she has something to add, but nothing is said. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is @beelivia (and there's a lot more family!verse content there that doesn't make it here, including moodboards!)


End file.
